How many ___s does it take to change a lightbulb?

(a) Charismatics -- Only one, hands already in the air anyway.

(b) Catholics -- none. They use candles.

(c) Baptists -- CHANGE??!!??!!

(d) Pentecostals -- Ten. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness

(e) Presbyterians -- None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

(f) Episcopalians -- Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

(g) United Methodists -- We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a lightbulb works for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way,long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ. Amen.

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